Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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