I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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