But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
