So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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