Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
