The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
