I can tuck mytits in my pants
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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