my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
