Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I believe in your delicious
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
