Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
