i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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