why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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