I'm going to jail i love you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drake has all the answers
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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