Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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