I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
