I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
