what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
