we're chasing vodka with high fives
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
