craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
