My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
