It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
