Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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