Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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