Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize