A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
smell my finger.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
