She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They have beer where we have blood.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
