Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
