hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
