ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
