I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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