i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
