Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
