Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
