and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
