Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
