There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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