I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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