Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
