Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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