At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
