You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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