Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
