is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The best revenge is premature balding
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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