everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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