YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
