brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
