what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
