I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
