he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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