She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
