I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
