I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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