redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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